Here are some interesting points regarding the concepts of nature and nurture.

Enjoy.

#1.  Your nature is basic to success

Your nature refers to your basic design.
You can’t function contrary to your basic natural design.

I know you’ll try to; you’ll make every effort to, particularly during those stupid moments that you succumb to the error of comparing yourself to others.

But you just can’t become anything other than what is determined by your nature.

You can only become whom and what you are.

Of course, humans have metamorphic capabilities. But that only goes to further establish the fact, because metamorphosis is essentially a process by which entities become what they’ve already been designed to be. The larva is able to metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly only because it has always been a butterfly by nature.

#2:  Your nature decides what environments would be favorable to your success

For instance, the nature of a fish is such that water is favorable to it, whereas the same environment would be absolutely destructive for a lion. The lion, on the other hand, thrives in the jungle – a terrain that would be very ‘poisonous’ to a fish.

One reason I challenge people to discover themselves is because understanding your own uniqueness enables you to consciously choose your environments on the basis of what would be favorable to your basic design..

#3: Your nature decides the relevance of your nurture

The relevance – or benefit – of what you feed on depends on your nature.

For instance, food that is good for a goat, might be poisonous to a human being.

As a result of the uniqueness of your design, not all information, company, or resources would be relevant to you. What’s good for the goose, might not be good for the gander!

#4:  You can’t nurture what’s not there in the first place

A natural quality must first exist before it can be nurtured. Training is essentially every effort to nurture and refine an ability or quality that one already possesses. To train as a footballer, you must possess the talent. To train as a musician, you must have the music ability already within.

Rather than trying to learn to do something you don’t naturally possess, discover something you already possess naturally. Then nurture it. That’s smarter.

Nurture can never create what nature has not given.

#5:  Your nature decides your potential – what you can ultimately become

A sheep can never become a shepherd. Both are of different natures. No matter how much you feed and train a sheep, it would never rise to the stature of a shepherd. This is because they are of different natures.

A fool is essentially different from a wise man. They are of different natures. No matter how much you teach a fool, he can never be wise. Wisdom is too high for a fool.

The saying ‘good followers make good leaders’ is flawed. Followership is a different nature from leadership.
A good follower doesn’t necessarily make a great leader except, of course, he has the nature of a leader.

Think about these 5 points again:

1. Your nature is basic to your success
2. Your nature decides what environments would be favorable to your success.
3. Your nature decides the relevance of your nurture.
4. You can’t nurture what’s not there in the first place.
5. Your nature decides your potential – what you can ultimately become.

Contradictions are beautiful; as a matter of fact, I prefer them to conclusions. Conclusions tend to restrict and choke the freedom of individuals to think for themselves. Contradictions on the other hand allow the mind and spirit to roam freely and question everything.

I understand, though, that this holds true only for those who love to think for themselves, and who have developed their minds to do so. For the rest, I can imagine that contradictions would breed confusion. They would rather have conclusions, that is, thoughts that have been processed in the minds of others, and then served to them , either for a fee, or for free.

According to the New York Time’s A Scientist Takes on Gravity, Erik Verlinde, 48, a respected string theorist and professor of physics at the University of Amsterdam, has challenged the basic laws of Newtonian and Einsteinian Gravity. He categorically stated that ‘For me gravity doesn’t exist.’

It was quite thrilling for me to read that.

I truly admire the kind of mindset that is neither intimidated by the age of any conclusion, nor by the authority and expertise of those that made the conclusion.

I prefer to keep an open mind on all subjects and to keep learning.

Knowledge is infinite and extremely dynamic; there’s no end to it. So why conclude?

Heaven would be so boring were it not for the fact that we’ll be exploring the inexhaustible depths of God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom through all eternity.

I used to be upset and annoyed by dogmatic conclusions. Now I find it all rather amusing, silly, and boring.

I know what I know. I don’t know what I don’t know. But I know that what I don’t know is greater and superior to what I know. Furthermore, the progressive knowledge of what I don’t know will ultimately modify, or overwrite what I know.

In that case, I avoid any emotional attachments to any thing that I know, in spite of how sensible, reasonable, or logical it may appear.

knowledge is essentially dynamic.

To truly live, you must first die.

Death means loss. To die means to lose, to give up.

Whatever you can’t give up will rule you. Whatever you are unwilling to forsake, if necessary, will enslave you – be it a person or a thing.

It is only by giving up that you truly own.

In order to defeat death, and bring life to those who believe in Him, Jesus Christ had to give up His earthly, fleshly life. His earthly life was the seed. He obtained an earthly life, was made flesh and blood, so He could have a seed to sow.

It takes death to defeat death. Until you are willing to die, you are not yet ready to live.

“They overcame him by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” ~ Revelations 12:11

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” ~ John 12:25

You must exchange an inferior life for a superior life.

You must give up what you have to create what you want.

There’s no other way.

You can only break the power of fear over your life when you confront that fear.

Death is the path to life.

Please, share your thoughts below –

Because we are created in God’s image and and likeness, we possess unique abilities, skills, and talents. These gifts definitely need to be developed to the point that they glow undeniably to remarkable intensities.

Most importantly, these gifts, as intended by God, are instruments to be harnessed for the good for the edification of mankind, and ultimately for the glory of God.

We fully intend to acknowledge and demonstrate God’s gifts and talents at our forthcoming Festival of Home Churches 2010 . No lone tree can make a forest; hence everyone needs someone to attain to efficiency and optimum functionality. In order to utilize our God-given talents, it is necessary to interact with one another.

Furthermore, we foster inspiration in others as our talents rob off on them.

During this week’s meeting of the Royalty Home Church, we defined the objectives of our performance in the coming Festival as not just to entertain, but also to educate, encourage, as well as inspire every one that attends.

This page is devoted to discussions on the subject of loneliness.

Loneliness is one of the most pervasive and chronic soul diseases of our time. In my many years ministry, of praying and counseling with hundreds of people, I am yet to meet a person that hasn’t experienced some sort of loneliness at one period or the other.

Studies after studies have continued to show that a greater percentage of the human family experience loneliness in one form or the other.

Besides it’s pervasiveness, loneliness is a painful experience; it’s torturous.

Wikipedia describes loneliness as “a feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude,” and compared it to “feeling empty, unwanted, and unimportant.”

I have received several emails from readers of this blog requesting that I write on the subject of loneliness, particularly how one can move from loneliness to happiness.

In one of my recent facebook status updates, I posted the following:

“Loneliness is the absence of a true friend. Do you have personal experiences related to how a true friend helped you overcome loneliness and depression? I would welcome individual experiences on this to share on my blog”

In response, someone sent me a facebook mail with the following comments:

“I have been pondering the subject of loneliness recently. I have come to realize you can have many friends that are close and that you are able to confide in but still be lonely.
I believe that there are a select few people who come into our lives that we connect with on a deep spiritual level. At times we long to talk with or spend time with these people. They understand us in a way and on a level that most people do not. When these people are not available we can experience intense loneliness.”

I think her insight is a profound one that goes to the heart of the matter.

Please, I invite you to share your personal perspectives, and experiences, on loneliness. In your opinion, what does loneliness mean? What do you think is the cause of this painful state of mind? And how can one move from loneliness to happiness?

‘Unity’ as it is said  does not mean uniformity, so it is always delightful for me to have my members bring in  their unique talents and twists into the mix that we call home church. A wise man once uttered that ‘no single individual can express all of God’ and I wholeheartedly  agree with him.

We examined the issue of forgiveness in this week’s home church and it was quite an invaluable discussion, considering that this is a common facet of daily living and relationships.

A member asserted that forgiveness means to be emotionally pleased with someone who offends us.

Another opined that it means withholding undesirable punishment from someone who has hurt us  in one way or the other.

‘To err is human’ is a cliché we are all familiar with. Even Jesus did not fail to include this phenomenon in the famous lord’s prayer that he taught his disciples. We agreed that it was important to forgive other people for our own sake and peace of mind. Holding on to past hurts and bitterness has a way of slowing us down emotionally and can even lead to malfunctioning of the human body.

Nonetheless, we still need to evaluate our connection with individuals who repeatedly hurt us.

This brings us to the adage ‘forgive and forget…’ Basically I don’t agree because one shouldn’t just be mindful of people’s motive but also the impact of their  actions. If someone repeatedly slaps you by mistake, you may have to shift  away from that person unless you want to continually move around with your face blue and black.

In my University days I had a roommate who, in what she termed factual jokes, will say hurtful things. Then I didn’t know any better and I  absorbed her comments. But today, I advise that we keep away from anyone who habitually verbally abuses us…forgive but don’t forget.

Have a swell weekend!

The atmosphere in home church this week was that of ideal, child-like brotherly love. Each of us shared the impact of last week’s discussion and acknowledged that it takes God’s help to abide by the precepts therein. We then went deeper in assaying the concept at hand. 

When you free yourself from public opinion – pleasing God at the expense of popularity – you send intense signals to God and the forces of nature. Actually, people’s opinions matter, but only give it its right place; don’t make it your driving force.

As a matter of fact, the opinions of your mentors, leaders, etc, matter a lot, but don’t let it matter more than it should.

If you’re quite close to yourself, and to God, then it’s God and you that know you best!

Christ asked His apostles who people said He was. This was neither to determine His worth nor to pay homage to the public opinion of Him, but only to ascertain whether or not His disciples had the correct perspective of His identity.

To further buttress this, even Bob Marley said, “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery…” This includes the slavery of the undue addiction to impress people with your performance, instead of focusing on inner personal excellence. Until you’re able to genuinely pray for others (your colleagues, etc.) to be their best, even if it means their outshining you, before God, you’ll keep oozing the odour of selfishness.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with desiring to be the best and to stay ahead. After all, God promises that you’ll be the head and not the tail. Actually, being the tail and mediocre does not glorify God. But, getting obsessed with being the head is wrong, for this exposes you to manipulations. Christ was so secure He didn’t assume any physical, undue superiority over His apostles that it took a kiss to identify Him!

Insecure hearts get addicted to praise and positions. That’s why they breathlessly crave reassurance that they’re the best.

Develop and renew your mind not to become resentful when your non-superiors are placed above you. Do your best no matter who gets the credit. This attracts God to you. Public credit should never become your driving force.

God bless you.

A relevant gift is like cold water to a thirsty soul; the receiver blesses the Lord for giving you the wisdom to buy such a gift, and the gift leaves such an impression that years after the gift has been given its still spoken of.

Many are of the opinion that the power of a gift is a matter of how expensive it is, how well packaged it is, and the attitude with which it is given.

Well, in my opinion, the real power of a gift is in its relevance.

Two weeks ago, I was given a gift that touched my soul. Prior to that day all members of our central church were told to present gifts to their home church leaders as part of the Pastor’s Appreciation Day. The home church leaders, in turn, were paired to buy gifts for their supervising pastors.

Because I was part of purchasing a gift for one of the supervising pastors, I decided to find out what the receiver really needed at that point in his life.

You know, sometimes you simply may not know a friend well enough to make an informed decision as to what he or she is longing for at any point in tme.

Well, we were able to find out what he needed most at that moment, which was a big high quality mattress, and pillows to go with it.

Though it was expensive, we made the necessary sacrifices to see to it that he got what he really needed at that point in time, and also to ensure that he would value the gift it as well.

On the other hand, I had no idea as to what gift my home church members were going to present to me! They all kept it secret till it was time for the gift to be presented to me. And they meticulously disguised the gift in a purple polythene bag, which from the outside looked like a well packaged NIV bible!

When it was brought out, however, to my delight, surprise, and relief, it was an expensive smart phone!

I was overwhelmed, speechless and filled with gratitude, not because of the cost of the phone, but because it was so relevant to me – it was exactly what I needed the most at that point in time.

You see, a few months back, I was robbed of my laptop, two cell phones, and a huge sum of money. Since then I’ve had to go to the cyber cafe whenever I need to make use of the internet, because the replacement phone I had after the robbery incident did not have internet browsing capabilities.

I was so overwhelmed with joy that I couldn’t help displaying the phone throughout that day to all and sundry!

Similarly, the leader of Infinity Home Church – Pastor Anuli – was so touched with the gift given to her that she couldn’t hold back the tears of gratitude.

As for the Supervising Pastor to whom we presented the gigantic mattress with soft pillows to, well, till date he still hasn’t stopped expressing his gratitude to me.

A relevant and timely gift can change someone’s life. The more your gifts are personalised and tailored to satisfy urgent and important needs, the more they will be appreciated and valued.

When presenting a gift ask yourself if you have sufficient information about the receiver to be able to give a gift that meets a need; what are the things that could make that person happy?
It is helpful to invest the time to know more about the receiver so you could easily generate helpful ideas as to what gifts the receiver will definitely appreciate.
If you don’t know, then ask those close to them.

Make sure your gifts are relevant. I believe that one act of kindness sets off another, causing a ripple effect. Make your gifts valuable possessions in other lives.

There is really no shortcut to enduring personal success. It’s rather a gruesome marathon demanding speed, strength, and, most importantly, stamina.

Enduring personal success is the eventual consequence of doing so many things – both big and small – right over a protracted period of time. Its an accumulation, a convergence in time, of several consistent (as opposed to random and erratic) success actions.

Consistency is the power that keeps all the right acts together until convergence occurs. The magic that is celebrated happens at this point of convergence.

You can do the right things here and there, every now and then. But if there is no pattern to your right actions, and if they lack consistency, then they really don’t count at the end of the day.

It is this consistency in executing success actions, plus that delay-overcoming tenacity, that I consider the magic essence of personal success.

One reason its so difficult for people to discover themselves is because our talents are not always obvious.  They don’t always look ‘talent-y’.
In fact, they are stuff most ‘serious minded’ people around us would put down as wasteful and unprofitable pastimes.

We tend to ignore our talent goldmines because of what I might term ‘conditional blindness.’ What I mean by this term is the resultant condition of society’s  tendency  to define talent primarily in terms of the very prominent abilities like painting, acting, singing, and their likes. 

So a lot of people struggle throughout their entire lifetimes trying to discover themselves, but failing because of this conditional blindness.  Ultimately, they resign themselves to trying to fit into society’s moulds, accepting definitions and limitations that are artificially hoisted upon them by the perspectives of others.

In today’s post I ask, “How can one peer beyond this shroud of conditional  blindness to discover one’s talent goldmines?”   I honestly wish I knew the answer to this riddle, which is why I invite your suggestions. Let’s share our thoughts and perspectives on the answers to these question.

How can I peer beyond the shroud of conditional  blindness to discover my talent goldmines?

I’ll go first, of course.

From my personal experience of self discovery, and as a self discovery coach, I’ve learnt that what you enjoy doing are significant pointers to your talent goldmines!

Now reflect on this question.  What do you enjoy doing?
You like it, you can easily get addicted to it if care is not taken; it will take more willpower and discipline to not do it, than to do it.
What is it?

Just think in terms of ‘I enjoy this’…  ‘I like this’.  Don’t bother whether its professional, profitable, serious, or not.

Here are some things I’ve heard in response to this question: 
“I like listening to music.” 
“I enjoy watching interesting programs.”
“I like to dress up in nice clothes and just put myself out there.”
“I enjoy going out and just having fun.”

Just think in terms of the ordinary. Be real and honest about it.  Don’t  worry about other people’s  opinion about it.  This is all about you accepting you and being you. You should be under no obligations about being anyone but you.

I think that when we think strictly in terms of ‘fun’ ‘like’ ‘enjoy’ with regards to any activities, hobbies, or ordinary wasteful pastimes, it becomes possible to highlight possible talent goldmines we might have ordinarily dismissed as insignificant.

Ok. Enough of my opinions. Now, it’s your turn.

How can one peer beyond the shroud of conditional blindness to discover one’s talent goldmines?  You can share from your own experiences, or purely out of your own imaginations.  All answers will be highly appreciated.  Thank you.