This page is devoted to discussions on the subject of loneliness.

Loneliness is one of the most pervasive and chronic soul diseases of our time. In my many years ministry, of praying and counseling with hundreds of people, I am yet to meet a person that hasn’t experienced some sort of loneliness at one period or the other.

Studies after studies have continued to show that a greater percentage of the human family experience loneliness in one form or the other.

Besides it’s pervasiveness, loneliness is a painful experience; it’s torturous.

Wikipedia describes loneliness as “a feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude,” and compared it to “feeling empty, unwanted, and unimportant.”

I have received several emails from readers of this blog requesting that I write on the subject of loneliness, particularly how one can move from loneliness to happiness.

In one of my recent facebook status updates, I posted the following:

“Loneliness is the absence of a true friend. Do you have personal experiences related to how a true friend helped you overcome loneliness and depression? I would welcome individual experiences on this to share on my blog”

In response, someone sent me a facebook mail with the following comments:

“I have been pondering the subject of loneliness recently. I have come to realize you can have many friends that are close and that you are able to confide in but still be lonely.
I believe that there are a select few people who come into our lives that we connect with on a deep spiritual level. At times we long to talk with or spend time with these people. They understand us in a way and on a level that most people do not. When these people are not available we can experience intense loneliness.”

I think her insight is a profound one that goes to the heart of the matter.

Please, I invite you to share your personal perspectives, and experiences, on loneliness. In your opinion, what does loneliness mean? What do you think is the cause of this painful state of mind? And how can one move from loneliness to happiness?

One of the toughest questions I’ve ever been asked as a Pastor during seminars, conferences, and personal counseling is this, “Why do bad things happen to good people…and why do good things happen to bad people?”

Well, I have four answers to that question:

First of all, there are no good or bad people…there are only right and wrong actions.

The question, “Why do bad things happen to good people, and why do good things happen to bad people?” is basically flawed because it’s based on a wrong premise – the assumption that there are good and bad people. In reality, there are no good or bad people, there are only right and wrong actions (I like to include thoughts as actions because they have consequences).

Based on some narrow dogmatic interpretations of religious writings, you and others of your kind may label people as good or bad. Well, that doesn’t make them so. This is why the Creator of this Universe doesn’t seek any individual’s opinion before giving out favors or curses to inhabitants of our planet.

I know a lot of people might not like this answer because we all like to feed our egos and claim that we are good; we also like to point our fingers at the other fellow and say that that he or she is bad. Yet, in reality, there are no good or bad people, there are only right and wrong actions.

This understanding is basic to unraveling the riddle of why bad things happen to good people and vice versa. Before you throw your flames at me for my assertion, read what Jesus Himself said when someone called Him, “Good Master…”

“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good – except God alone.” ~ Luke 18:19

One reason I do not subscribe to organized religions (I referred to them as ‘religious uniformities’ somewhere) is because they reinforce the base human instinct of branding those outside our circle of belief as evil.

Once upon a time, I was called a devil and labeled a false prophet by the Christian denomination to which I belonged, simply because I dared to think for myself and pursue my personal convictions. It was then that I came face to face with the wickedness and hostility inherent in organized religion.

Organized religion has for centuries been a tool for the oppression, suppression, and subjugation of the free will of man. Centuries of murders, wars, treachery, and betrayals, have borne out the fact that organized religions are bastions of ignorance and intolerance used to suppress free thought and retard human progress and evolution. One of it’s chief enterprises is the branding and labeling of individuals and groups of people as good or evil based on some silly and foolish fantasies and superstitions.

When any of the brainless drones of any of these organized religions peer out of the narrow confines of their religious cells and see those outside their cocoons and caves thriving and flourishing, they ask, “Why do good things happen to ‘bad’ people?” And when they observe the wretchedness and barrenness of any of their kind – usually the natural result of ignorance and adherence to hollow and meaningless traditions – they wonder, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

In a sudden burst of elevated awareness, an ex-religious bigot made this statement:

“I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.” ~ St. Peter, Acts 10:34,35

Peter in essence realized these basic facts:

• God does not show favoritism. This is quite contrary to what religious bigots think.
• He accepts men from every nation, as long as they fear Him, and do what is right. Again this is contrary to what most members of each organized religion believe. They would rather that God accepted only members of their narrow circles.

In reality, however, God is not a respecter of persons; He is rather a respecter of the principles and laws He has set in place to govern the Universe. This article emphasizes the aspect of ‘what is right’, but I promise you another post would dwells on the aspect of they that ‘fear Him.’

Secondly, the rightness or wrongness of any action is not a function of religious beliefs, or human traditions; it is rather a function of the immutable and self-evident universal laws of nature

For this reason, I encourage you to invest more time in trying to understand the universal laws and principles of life, than you do trying to become another religious bigot.

There are many categories of laws; I’ll divide them first into two broad categories, then I’ll subdivide the other one into more subs.

• Manmade laws: The majority of religious, traditional, and cultural laws that we find in organized religions and ethnic cultures, are simply man-made laws. They bind people and enslave millions without offering any significant benefits – in fact they impede human progress and hinder true insight into the real spiritual and material principles that govern the universe. This is why slavish adherents to organized religious laws tend to live such impoverished and un-productive lives.
• Universal spiritual and material laws: These are the authentic laws and principles governing all aspects of human and non-human interactions at all levels of being in the universe. They are self evident for those who have the eyes to recognize them. They do not respect creed or culture. Adherence to these set of laws enrich, empower, nourish, and prosper those that live by them unlike the man-made laws.

Universal spiritual and material laws can further be sub-divided into more categories according to the different aspects of human interactions that they govern. Here’s a very brief list to give you an idea of what I have in mind:

• Moral laws: honesty, integrity, justice…
• Economic laws: Parkinson’s, demand and supply…
• Laws of relationships: tolerance, understanding…
• Health laws: Diets, exercise, rest…
• Physical laws (scientific): Gravity, motion, floatation…

Of course, there are others.

An action is right or good when it is in positive alignment with the universal spiritual and material laws; in the same vein, an action is bad or wrong if it is in negative alignment with the universal spiritual and material laws. My aim is to get you to shift your thinking from ‘good and bad people’ to ‘right and wrong actions.’ I also want you to align that thinking with the universal laws rather than religious beliefs.

Thirdly, positive consequences attend right actions, and negative consequences attend wrong actions.

This is simply the law of sowing and reaping in action. There are practically two broad categories of human experiences – fortunes, and misfortunes. Fortunes are the results of good understanding and masterful application of the principles governing the universe – in other words, of right actions. Misfortunes, on the other hand, are the consequences of violating (knowingly, or ignorantly) the principles governing the universe – in other words, of wrong actions.

The wise man Solomon noted that:

“Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.” Proverbs 13:15

Another word for wrong action is ‘sin’ – one of the most commonly misunderstood and abused words of all time. ‘Sin’ is a popular word among certain religious groups. But they define it in narrow terms – the violation of some man-made religious rules and views. Yet, sin is a universal concept. It’s not even a religious concept at all. In my way of thinking, sin is fundamentally a scientific concept.

I define sin as any violation of any truly universal spiritual and material principles. I really don’t care if you buy this definition or not, it doesn’t change a thing!

“Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law for sin is a transgression of the law” ~ I John 3:4

I can almost hear someone screaming that the law here speaks of the law of Moses, and that’s exactly my point; you define a good person as someone who slavishly and ignorantly adheres to a set of humanly biased and prejudiced interpretations of religious writings. That is why you wonder when bad things happen to your so-called ‘good’ people.

My friend, you can paraphrase the Scripture I just quoted to read; “sin is any violation of any genuine universal spiritual and material principles.” That’s the more enlightened view of the concept. And when you understand it, the puzzle as to why bad things happen to good people, and vice versa, vanish. You then understand that there are no good people…there are only right and wrong actions.

A sinner is someone who violates any of the governing laws of the universe – knowingly or ignorantly. When some one performs a wrong action with respect to a true universal law, the fellow has sinned, and there are consequences. This Universe is governed by principles and laws. Anyone can avoid, or at least minimize suffering if they understand and diligently apply the principles governing this universe. Hardships and unnecessary suffering in life come from transgression – the willful, or ignorant violation of universal laws and principles.

You may think that you are righteous because you hold certain religious creeds and affirmations…I can only pity you because thats why you would never understand the cause of your misfortunes.

For instance, what happens when an individual jumps off a 100 storey skyscraper? Thats a clear violation of the Law of Gravity; in other words, the fellow has committed a sin against a planetary law of physics! Now the universe does not know whether the fellow is a pagan, Hindu, spiritualist, Christian, or Moslem, it gives them exactly the same reward – broken bones!

So it is in other aspects of reality. There are laws governing every aspect of interactions in this Universe and at any time you violate any of them, you introduce hardship and suffering in the sphere of life that they govern.

Imagine the measure of suffering that is in this world as a result of people violating the laws of health. Those laws don’t make any distinctions based on religious affiliations.

The laws of economics and wealth creation do not recognize religious affiliations either. This is why so many slavish adherents to the world’s organized religions languish in poverty, and suffering.

On ‘incurable’ diseases and ‘disabilities’

What about those that are plagued with serious illnesses – such as, cancer, AIDS, and those other illnesses that have been labeled as ‘incurable’ by medical experts? Am I saying that they brought it on themselves and that they are being punished for some sin? What if they were born that way, how is that their fault?

Well, first of all, no disease is ‘incurable.’ So, the moment you accept a mindset that insults the capacity and power of God, you’ve performed a wrong action. When you elevate the opinions and expertise of men above the power of God, that’s idolatry (a wrong action). You now understand why I say that sin is not a religious, but rather a scientific phenomenon.

I cannot in anyway blame someone who’s going through pain and suffering as a result of illness for their physical condition; but I’ll hold them responsible for their attitude and mindset towards their condition and the possibility of their getting better and living normal lives. You do not violate the principles of the universe just by doing the wrong thing, but also by failing to do the right things . So, when a sick person gives up hope because of the medical reports of a fellow human being, I believe that’s a wrong action that can worsen that condition, intensify suffering, and prolong the process of recovery.

The right action is to have a positive attitude and expect a miracle!

Miracles…

When we speak of miracles, I do appreciate that we are making reference to occurrences and manifestations that transcend the present understanding of universal laws by some, and that’s ok. In this sense, I do believe in miracles. Technically speaking, though, there really should be nothing like ‘miracles’ because everything is natural. In my way of thinking, miracles do happen and they are perfectly in harmony with universal laws and principles.

I was miraculously healed of five debilitating diseases as I wrote in Supernatural Healing ;medical science had given me practically no hope. I’m also a healing evangelist and have witnessed and continue to witness all kinds of miracles in my meetings. Yet I agree with St. Augustine when he says that “Miracles are not contrary to the laws of nature, but are only contrary to our understanding of them.”

At the age of 24, I became the youngest self-published author in my state of origin here in Nigeria. My book, ‘Rivers in the desert’, earned me hundreds of thousands of Naira, lots newspaper publicity, as well as a tele-speech to Nigerian youths in Washington and Maryland, USA. Let me quote a line from that book:

“…the dictionary didn’t say that miracles are against the laws of nature. No. This is because those laws were instituted by God and are the very laws that hold the entire universe together. The dictionary rather says that miracles do not follow the known laws of nature. They are beyond the realms of man’s present knowledge and understanding at any point in time. In other words, humans at any point in time do not know all there is to know of the laws of nature; so any occurrence beyond the borders of our knowledge is considered a miracle. So miracles follow divine, natural, eternal laws, but are usually beyond the realms of human understanding at any point in time.”

My point in making reference to miracles is to give you hope if you are going through some challenging physical sickness and suffering. I’m saying that the right action for your situation would include a belief in the possibility of miracles to pull you out where the doctors have given you no hope. I’m saying that it would be wrong to accept a man’s statement that your case is incurable and hopeless; that would be an insult to the power of the God who created the Universe. You’ve got to do whatever you can to cultivate faith and a positive attitude in your heart. I’ll encourage you to read this post, “Supernatural Healing,” as it will boost your faith and point out some practical steps towards experiencing miraculous and supernatural healing.

People on sick beds love sympathy – wrong action .
I understand that because, as I’ve already written, I was in that state for the greater part of 17 years.
But what sick people do need is greater responsibility over their lives - right action:).
They may like to play the victim; so when you offer sympathy, you reinforce their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

What sick people need is the challenge to change their mindset and take more responsibility over their lives and outcomes. They need solutions, not sympathies.

I’ve been a pastor and healing evangelist now for 18 years. I have visited several hospitals and continue to make pastoral visits to the sick in hospitals and homes. I’ve had hospital presidents come to my office to ask me to visit their hospitals to talk and pray with their patients. I’ve seen thousands of undisputable healings and miracles take place throughout my ministry. So I’m not insensitive to the ordeals of sick people, as you might be tempted to think.

Besides, I was sick for 17 years. I was so tortured by pain and infirmities that I contemplated suicide several times. So I understand what sick people want, versus what they really need. They want sympathy and pity; but they need inspiration to greater responsibility, right thinking, and effective solutions.

Jesus said to them, “Rise and be healed…” He also said to them, “Your faith has healed you…” And that’s exactly my message to you if you are in such a situation, or you do have a loved one in such a situation. Rise and be healed, in other words, assume responsibility for your situation and do something about it, even if so-called experts have given you no hope. It is your faith that counts; it’s what you believe and think about the situation that matters. I believe that there’s hope for you and that you can be healed and live a normal life.

And even if you don’t get healed in the form of a miraculous restoration to total physical wholeness, you can still enjoy a happy and fulfilled life by developing and maintaining a positive, grateful, and thankful attitude for the various blessings that you already have.

Fourthly, faithful adherence to one category of universal laws does not spare you from the painful consequences of violating some other set of laws.

You can keep your so-called religious laws faithfully – and thereby qualify yourself as a ‘good’ person – but if you violate the laws of health, you’ve committed sin against those laws. The consequence may be sicknesses and diseases, depending on the gravity of your offense.

Your religious group might brand you a righteous man because you pay your dues to the system and adhere blindly to their silly rituals, but if you violate the laws of wealth creation, you’ve committed sin against those laws. The consequence may be that you’ll live in poverty, and lack.

I believe you get my point. Faithful adherence to one category of universal laws does not spare you from the painful consequences of violating some other set of laws. For instance, what would be the fate of a man who has become wealthy as a result of masterful application of the universal laws of wealth creation, but who violates the laws of health? He’ll end up as a very rich, but very sick person. This is why balance is very important in life.

In Conclusion…

There’s really no injustice in creation…in the natural order of things. Everything proceeds according to precise and set laws, even if we do not have a perfect understanding of these laws. So the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people, and vice versa?” suggests the presence of injustice in the Universe, and so is fundamentally flawed.

The challenge, in my point of view, is for you and I to pursue an expanding and growing insight into the laws governing all aspects of creation. That way we’ll live richer and happier lives, and quit passing judgments on other people.

I also discourage blind adherence and passive allegiance to the ignorant and uninformed dogmas of organized religions. Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, understand the true laws of creation, master them and live like the god you were designed to be.

So there you have it: my four dimensional answers to the question of why bad things happen to good people, and why good things happen to bad people.

So what do you think? Share your thoughts…

It’s not over until God says it’s over!

So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance ~ Acts 12:5,6

It was the dying minute; Peter was in an impossible situation – and as far as the human eyes could see, it was a hopeless situation. There were two soldiers, two chains, and sentries at the entrance! The possibility of escaping from that situation was simply not there. He lacked the skills needed to break out of prison – after all he was a fisherman, not a trained soldier. Besides, he was only one person, surrounded by several highly trained soldiers. So even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t have escaped.

Could it be that you are in a similar situation in your life right now? Are you in a situation from which it seems like there’s no escape? Perhaps, you are so afraid; you are in a state of panic, and you’ve realized that your best efforts will not be enough to change that condition.
And the thought of it is so scary.

Besides, it’s the midnight hour, it’s the dying minute.
In other words, it’s too late now, and time is running out.

I bring you good news! Don’t panic. Don’t be afraid. God is making a way for you where there is no way!

It’s not over until God says it’s over!

God will make a way for you. So there’s still hope for you!

Expect a miracle!

Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up, “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. They passed the first and second gates and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him. Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating.” ~ Acts 12:7-11

Look at that first word that I highlighted – suddenly!
Peter had already abandoned himself to death; he had resigned to what he considered the inevitable – death.
Yet God had other plans!

I want you to know this very moment that doom and death are not inevitable for you. I don’t care what your situation is like right now; God will make a way for you.
So expect a miracle!
Shame and disgrace are not inevitable for you. Expect a miracle.
Suffering and pain is not inevitable for you. Expect a miracle.
God has better plans for you! So expect a miracle.

Expect a miracle!
It will be sudden!
It will come from unexpected quarters.
And it will be mysterious.

Angels are on your case!

The Lord is releasing all kinds of fierce delivering angels at this time to attend to your case.

Blocked heavens are opening for you right now. Demonic oppressions are being terminated in your life, even as you read this post. Obstacles are being cleared out of your path this very moment. Sicknesses and diseases are fleeing from your body as you read in faith. Curses and evil covenants are being destroyed now in your life. All enemies of your progress are being paralyzed too!

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress.
May the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary, and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart, and make all your plans succeed.
May the Lord grant all your requests in Jesus name.

The pain was terrible, the agony unbearable.
I strutted along looking for relief from it all to no avail.
My right ribs were sticking out of my rib cage and piercing through my skin.
The pain was simply excruciating and unimaginable.

I went to a gathering of some people who were having church.
I sat in pain and listened to the songs.
They were beautiful songs.

Then I listened to the sermon.
It was a wonderful teaching, full of principles and wise sayings, exquisitely composed and dexterously delivered.
But I was still in pains.

So I went out on the streets.
They were advertising a very good hospital.
I went there and the medical personnel bound my chest with a white bandage.
That brought some relief from the pain, but it was momentary.

So I moved on and found an old man on a truck selling some herbs.
I applied it to my chest.
I even drank some portion concocted by him.
But the pains continued.
By now it was getting rather fiery and intense.

I sat by the road and wept in despair.
“Who will free me from this agony?” I cried.

Suddenly…!
“Sally, wake up. It’s time for lunch” It was the voice of my wife as she touched me and woke me up.
“What!” I shouted, “So I had been dreaming!”
I turned to her and said, “You came at the right time. Thanks for waking me up. I was really having a bad dream and I’m happy to wake up.”
She was puzzled, but I was really serious.

Listen.
Someone around you now is passing through an emotional nightmare, a financial hell, physical pain and agony.
You can be the one that wakes them up from it just by touching them!
You can turn their suffering and pain into a mere dream?

I’m so glad she touched me and woke me from my pain.

Have you ever been sad? I mean, real, deep, and persistent sadness – the kind you can almost touch?

I’ve had to endure sadness for the major part of my life. A greater measure of it was due to the discomfort associated with my 17-year ordeal with asthma. I hate to be sad because sadness is so demoralizing and energy sapping. My response to it up until now has always been to fight it until it gets out.
Recently, however, it visited again as usual. But this time, instead of trying to push it out, I decided to accommodate it, so as to study and understand it. So it stayed and festered for days and weeks, and I endured it, studied it and wrote about it. I choose to observe it at a very close range with the intention of learning:

• The true meaning of sadness
• The causes of sadness
• The cure for sadness

I didn’t learn enough, of course, to make me an expert on sadness!
But I sure did learn enough to feel confident that any other time it happens to show up, I’ll be more than capable to deal with it constructively, creatively, and effectively.

The True Meaning of Sadness

Sadness is an emotional experience.
The emotion is a reactive component of the soul. It’s responsive. In other words, it’s always a resultant effect of some stimuli – external or internal.
Since sadness is an emotional experience, it’s a reaction of the soul to some form of internal or external stimulus. Sadness, hence is also a soulish experience.

In her article, Beyond Sadness, Nancy Schimelpfening writes, “Sadness is a part of being human, a natural reaction to painful circumstances. All of us will experience sadness at some point in our lives.”

There’s nothing strange about sadness. It’s a normal human emotional experience.
But it’s a deep experience, in the sense that it’s an experience of the soul.

Sadness Stimuli

Remember that sadness is the reaction of your soul to some form of internal or external stimuli.

Here are some of those stimuli:

• A focus of the mind on negatives. This focus can be conscious. In this sense, you are thinking of negative things that have happened to you – loss of a loved one, loss of love, rejection, pain, and so on. But this focus can also be subconscious, and this in no way diminishes its impact. This second dimension of the mental focus is why sometimes someone says, “I don’t know why I’m so sad.” It is possible for your subconscious soul to focus on a negative incident that is stored away somewhere in the deep recesses of your memory.
  Sadness is the resultant effect of the negative focus of the subconscious mind. Whenever your heart is oriented towards the negatives in your life, a heavy and dark cloud descends on your heart and begins to press against it. You feel this in the form of sadness.
  You are not always aware of the shift in orientation because it happens subtly. This is why the bible encourages us to guard our hearts with all diligence because from it are the issues of life.
  This gradual re-orientation often happens without any effort on your part!
• A disconnection from the soul’s designer . Whenever you act in a way that is contrary to the fundamental principles underlying your soul’s basic design, your soul reacts with sadness. In an excerpt from ‘A Biography of Fear’, Jonathan Bitz writes that “Melancholy is awareness, of our distance from God, meaning, and purpose?” In more practical terms, any time you break a moral code of the universe, deep inner feelings of sadness occur.
• Loss of time control. Any individual soul is extremely happy whenever dominion, mastery, or control is gained with respect to time management. The soul reacts with sadness whenever it senses or perceives a loss of control with respect to time management.
• Lack of mental companionship. This is a form of inner loneliness that also creates the feeling of sadness. This is normally experienced in the area of one’s responsibilities. Each time you feel the load of work and there’s no one to help share this burden constructively, the sense of being ‘alone’ might trigger off the feeling of sadness.
• Frustrated expectations. Sadness also occurs when your inner speed is higher than your external speed. In other words, when your expectations do not match your realities.
• Change. According to Mental Health, “Sadness can result from a change that you didn’t expect, or it can signal the need for a change in your life.Change is usually stressful, but it is necessary for growth.”
• Tiredness. Physical exhaustion from overwork can also trigger off the feeling of sadness.
• Fatigue. Mental exhaustion from excessive mental strain can also cause sadness.
• Poor nutrition. Inadequate nourishment for your body can stimulate the emotional experience of sadness.
• Lack of a definite life’s purpose. The happiest people on earth are those who have something to look forward to. They have goals and missions that are clearly defined and which give them a sense of relevance. This is something that keeps them constantly excited and motivated. The absence of such goals and missions creates the experience of sadness in the human soul.
• Sad people! Yes, sadness is contagious! The more you associate with sad and depressed souls, the more your own soul is infected and contaminated with their sadness. I’ve often felt this as a pastor. Lots of times, after counselling with people who have deep emotional needs, I experience sadness for hours immediately after the counselling session.

This definitely is not an exhaustive list. Please, feel free to add your comments on this subject; let us know, from your own experiences, other causes of sadness. And, if you are experiencing sadness, what do you think is responsible for yours? Are any of the causes among those in my brief list above?

Sadness is dangerous

Sadness is a normal human emotional experience. But it is also a dangerous human emotional experience!
At the least, it predisposes the human soul to addictions. Many people plunge headlong into dangerous addictions as a result of their misguided efforts to eliminate sadness.
In an excerpt on Sadness, therapist and author Thayer White who has over 23 years experience as both therapist and client in the areas of therapy and self-growth writes that, “unless you are able to feel sadness (and its relatives: sobbing, grief and tears), you will forever be avoiding sadness. Avoidance makes you prone to addictive behavior, psychosomatic symptoms, high levels of anxiety and acting-out skewed behavior.”
During my recent prolonged studious engagement with sadness, I narrowly escaped addiction to alcoholism!

Addictions are not the only consequences of sadness. Sadness can negatively impact almost every aspect of our lives if not adequately handled.

• It could lead to withdrawal, thereby impacting negatively on your relationships and crippling your productivity.
• It could diminish your energy level and slow down your rate of accomplishments.
• It could evolve into depression, if not managed properly.

Curing Sadness

Can sadness be cured?
I doubt it could.
I personally believe that sadness is an emotional experience akin to pain. Pain is a sign of life. A normal human being should feel pain in response to pain-causing stimuli, else there is cause for concern. Similarly, sadness, which is a normal emotional response, is a sign of healthy life. Hence I do not think it can be ‘cured’.
I also relate sadness to sweating. Sweating occurs under certain environmental conditions. It is normal. It is to be expected once those conditions exist. Such is the experience of sadness. Under certain conditions, like the stimuli we listed above, sadness should be expected to occur.
So I do not think that sadness can be ‘cured.’ But I do think that it can be resolved. By that I mean that it can be creatively managed any and everytime it shows up.

If you or a dear one is experiencing sadness, I believe the following constructive steps will help.

1. Know that sadness is normal. You do have every right to feel sad under sadness stimuli.
2. Try to find out why you are sad.
3. Take out time to rest.
4. Take adequate nourishment for your body.
5. Meditate on positive and inspiring material.
6. Interact and fellowship with positive and inspiring people.
7. Take time to discover your life’s purpose.
8. Recreate your mind through vacations, sight seeing and so on.

Do you have any other ideas on how sadness can be creatively managed?
Do you have personal experiences related to sadness?
Please comment below.

Do you have an addiction?

“…the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual’s health, mental state or social life.” – Wikipedia

When we come across the term addiction, we often think in terms of drugs, alcoholism, or probably sex. Yet, the fact is that addiction has a broad application to all kinds of psychological dependence that lead to self destructive behaviors.

Does everyone have addictions?
Not necessarily.

Does everyone with addictions know that they have addictions?
Not really. In fact, most people with addictions don’t know that they have one. This is because the activities in which they are addictively engaged may be ‘productive’ or ‘positive’.
Yet, any activity in which you are engaged in a recurring manner, and which has harmful consequences to your health, mental state or social life, is an addiction, regardless of how ‘productive’ or ‘positive’ the activity may be.

As you can see, the definitive element of addictions is the fact that they have harmful consequences to:

• your health,
• mental state or
• social life.

Do you have an addiction?
Do a personal check right away. Is there a specific activity, or a set of activities, that you are engaged in to the detriment of your health, mental state or social life? You might be blinded by the positive effects of that activity – probably you are making money from it or whatever: but if it’s hurting your health, mental state, or social life, its an addiction.

I’ve been thinking about addictions lately.
I believe that addictions happen when there’s a need in the human soul for meaning and joy beyond what is offered in the material dimension. We don’t always understand the nature of this need, but it’s always there and shows up at unexpected moments in our lives.
This need has an interesting identity – it’s called eternity!
Because you are an ‘eternity’ being, there’s a space in your heart called eternity. This space can only be filled by the Creator of the universe – God.
Any time you sense this need, and you attempt to fill it with any thing or activity, that thing or activity rapidly translates into an addiction.

Any addiction is bad.
Addictions create neurosis.
Addictions set up the human soul for depression, and frustration.
Addictions cripple interpersonal relationships.
Addictions are destructive to health and peace of mind.
In fact, addictions are dangerous.

Do you have an addiction?
Do you have a recurring compulsion to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to your health, mental state or social life.

Check that recurring compulsion to:

• be with a certain individual at the expense of other important relationships – such as your marriage and so on?
• pursue your career and professional activities at the expense of your health, mental state or social and family life?
• take any form of food substance – alcohol, food, drugs, and so on – regardless of the harmful impact on your life?
• pursue entertainment to the detriment of your family life and vital relationships?

Just take out time and think along the above lines. Do you have a compulsion to:

• ……………………………….despite harmful consequences to your health, mental state or social life?
  (Fill out the space above with any such activity in your own life.)

My purpose in writing this post is to challenge you to check your life for the possible existence of addictions. I’ll post a sequel to this on how to eliminate addictions.

For the moment, however, is there any in your life? Please share with us in the comment spaces below.
Thanks.

I’ve discovered that there’s something worse than death, and that’s the fear of death. You don’t know what this fear is until you face it! For instance, when you’ve been diagnosed of a terminal disease like cancer, or HIV – when the doctors tell you that there’s nothing else they can do, at such times the fear is simply torturous. It’s terrifying.

Imagine what it’s like to be in the shoes of the woman with the issue of blood where, a situation in which, rather than your condition improving with medication, it’s getting worse. It’s a terrifying experience. You’re taking drugs, applying creams, using herbs, and so on yet things are still getting worse. You are spending a lot of your hard earned cash all to no avail. It’s even worse when you don’t know what is wrong with you. The medical people have run all sorts of tests and they still can’t say exactly what the problem with you is. The uncertainty can be tormenting.

The most depressing aspect of it, from my own experience is the fact that you can’t share it with anyone. You see, emotions, pains, and fears can be masked by make-up, good dressing, smiles and an outward show of boldness. So you are trapped in a private cell of torture, torment, and panic. Something within you is shivering with fear. Not even your closest friend is permitted to enter that inner closet. It all boils down to one phrase, the fear of death.

Fear is worst than any germ or killer virus. These other ones attack the body. But fear attacks the spirit and the soul. It hits at the very foundation of the being. It pollutes the thoughts, emotions, and attitudes thereby paralyzing the individual. Besides, it is satan’s most powerful tool.Are you hiding in a cell of fear? The truth is that you don’t have to be there anymore.

See Hebrews 2:9, 14, 15.
9But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. 14Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death, that is the devil – 15and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

These verses reveal 4 important truths:
1. Jesus Christ has tasted (or experienced) death for each of us.
2. He destroyed the one who holds the power of death, which is the devil.
3. He now holds that power!
4. He has freed us from the manipulation of the fear of death.

But all these are nothing if you don’t know these truths. Because, you see, according to John 8:32, “You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” The truth sets you free, but it only does so through your knowledge of it. The knowledge of truth is the instrument that the truth uses to set you free.

If you are in this situation of tormenting fear, I want you to know that your faith is under trial. This not to say that God is the one behind your problems – because He’s not. I’m simply saying that this is an opportunity to renew your faith in God; to rediscover the promises and benefits of your relationship with Him. I have been in that dark pit too, so I know what it feels like. I also know how to come out of that place and that is simply to focus on the truth.

Job was there and he was able to come out because of what he knew.
“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes – I , and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” Job 19:23-27

David overcame too by what he knew.
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

These are not just mere bold confessions of faith heroes, they are promises of God to you. Can claim them right away! You really don’t have to die.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are scared of death, for any reasons? What was it like? What did you do to recover your courage and zest of living?

Please post your comments below