Greatness attracts criticisms

Have you ever been criticized?
Have you ever felt the pang of emotional hurt as a result of the unfair comments of others?

Who hasn’t?

In fact, lots of people today are totally frustrated because they are trying so hard to live up to the expectations of others; to please everybody and avoid criticisms.

We all love compliments and affection, but if you live your life trying to get everyone to like and compliment your efforts, you’ll live a very miserable and frustrated life.

Because I have an overwhelming passion to see you express yourself without fear, and in spite of public opinion, let me show you how to deal with criticisms.

Greatness attracts criticisms

Greatness and success attract criticisms just as honey attracts bees! You must learn to feel at home with criticisms – to either ignore them or use them. If you can’t handle criticisms, slandering, and false accusations, don’t aspire for greatness, because the top is full of them; the top is very very hot!

If you are a man or woman who is on a mission and who manifests significant achievements, be sure that you’ll be attacked. If you have worthwhile goals and dreams, be sure that you’ll be criticized and slandered; it’s part of the package.

If you stand out from the crowd, if you are visible, be sure that you’ll be unjustly criticized. So rejoice when you receive criticisms because it means that you are visible, that you are somebody significant. Criticisms signify visibility; the people in the audience notice those on the stage, those who are in the spotlight. People on stage, on the other hand, are normally so blinded by the spotlight and busy with their stage demands that they do not notice those in the audience. The fact of the matter is that if nobody is criticizing you, you are not visible.

In life, we’re always going to have critics. We’ll always have difficult people who try to upset us and steal our peace and joy. But, you don’t have to respond to every critic. You can decide to take the high road and let your results speak for themselves. And even if you don’t have any results, it’s nobody’s business; it’s your life, learn to enjoy it, however it is.

WHY PEOPLE CRITICIZE

Criticisms have diverse motivations:

#1. Genuine concern.

There are people who are genuinely concerned for your success and well-being. They consistently contribute to your growth and success in terms of their words, time, talent, efforts, and resources. Normally, you would recognize this people in the form of those that rejoice when you succeed. They hate to see you fail and would go out of their way to celebrate you achievements, often more than you would have done!

Folks in this group are often well accomplished individuals themselves who also want others to rise and have very little to compete with you for.

They are also usually authorities in the areas that they are trying to correct you.

So genuine concern can be a positive motivation which should manifest in the form of constructive criticisms. It is not enough, however to make you accept such criticisms. I don’t care how well-intentioned or experienced anyone is, you must reserve your right to dismiss their so-called well-meaning and expert opinions. Expertise has often been a mask for arrogant ignorance.

#2. Envy, jealousy, hatred.

Some people just hate you. You see, just like there is ‘love at first sight’, there is also ‘hate at first sight.’ Some folks just don’t and won’t like you no matter what you do. It’s simply a matter of human chemistry. You can bend and twist till the end of time trying to please them, but they’ll never like you.

These people are not worth your while, I assure you. You don’t need them to succeed, anyway. So get on with your life and be your own self; live your own life, and damn their petty opinions and criticisms.

Most of the times it’s just that they hate what you stand for and what you represent. So no matter what you do, they are going to criticize you because they just can’t stand to see you succeed.

I’ve experienced this form of criticism in my own life. A lot of people here have the wrong concept of education. They believe that in order to make it in life, you must go through conventional schooling, acquire some piece of paper (called a certificate), get a good job (a nice phrase for 21st century slavery), and then slave eight or more hours each day till you retire into oblivion with little or nothing to show for your efforts.

Well, when God called me into the ministry, I dropped out of the University in my third year to focus on my divine mission. It was then that all hell broke loose. People began to criticize me and call me all sorts of names. They told me I was going to fail. Well, unfortunately for them, rather than failing, I actually began to experience tremendous success.

They weren’t really mad at me; they were mad at what I stood for – independence, freedom, and adventure. My success challenged their ideological and religious premises and they didn’t like that, so they resorted to criticizing me.

Well, I do not put too much weight on people’s opinion and neither should you. I am successful today, and I will continue to be successful no matter what you or anyone thinks.

#3. Fear

Sometimes, your life and achievements challenge the status quo and comfort zones of some people. So they are afraid that if you succeed with your way of life, it will mean an end to their own way of life; it will mean that they are wrong.

So many of us are so emotionally and irrationally attached to our views and ideologies that we are practically threatened when someone expresses or embodies a contrary view. This is nothing but insecurity based on ignorance and fear.

If you are so set in your beliefs and perspectives that you never pause to consider the fact that you might be wrong, or that there might be other better and more enlightened variations of those beliefs, then you are just another insecure bigot. You will most likely fall into the category of those who criticize others unfairly out of fear.

If what you stand for intimidates people, they will most likely criticize you. If your success is an indictment on some people’s ideologies and beliefs, they’ll most likely criticize you.

#4. Frustration

Some people criticize you as a way of dealing with their inner frustrations. They have probably failed. They have wasted their lives and opportunities and are now miserable. So they project these frustrations out on others as their own way of dealing with their own failures and frustrations.

When this group of people criticize you, it gives them some temporary relief. So pity them and don’t give the slightest weight to their frustrated and pathetic comments. Just hold your peace and give them a very cold shoulder.

#5. Negative attitude

Some criticize because they are negative minded. It’s in their nature to be sour and grumpy.

I read about a mischievous boy that put some foul smelling cream on the moustache of his grandfather while the man slept. The grandfather later woke up with a snort. The odor was so pungent that he ran out of the room to the corridor. “Hmmm,” the man snorted, “what’s smelling in this house?” He quickly ran out of the house to get some fresh air and relief from the choking smell, all to no avail as the smell persisted. “What the hell,” he shouted “the whole world is smelling!”

Oh no! The whole world isn’t smelling sir, you just have that mess right under your own nostrils!

Lots of people are like that. They are wired negatively so they just can’t help it. They’ve made a career out of criticizing others. The fact is that they are simply projecting the impurity and negativism of their hearts on you. Don’t give them even the slightest bit of your precious attention.

Some folks just need to remove the log of wood in their eyes before bothering with the speck of dust in other people’s eyes.

HOW TO DEAL WITH CRITICISMS

There are basically two ways to deal with criticisms: Ignore them, or use them if they are relevant. The choice is simply yours. If this were all I ever wrote in this section, I assure you that it will be more than enough for the wise.

If you whine and sulk because of criticism, you are just as petty and as insecure as your critics.

You must have read the story of a man and his grandson traveling to a far place with their donkey. At the onset of their journey, the man placed his grandson on the donkey and walked alongside. As they passed through the first city, people there began to rebuke the little boy, “Children of these days have no respect for their elders. How could this boy allow his old grandfather to walk while he sits atop the donkey?” they said. When the man heard it, he asked the boy to step down while he climbed up the donkey’s back.

As they passed through the second city, people there started to murmur against the old man. “What a wicked old man. Just look at how he’s let a little boy walk while he sits comfortably on top of the donkey,” they complained. The grandfather heard it and pulled the boy up to himself so that they now were riding the donkey together.

While they were passing through the third city along their way, the grandfather couldn’t help hearing inhabitants of that city murmuring against himself and his grandson. “This man and his grandson must be evil. Why are they punishing this tiny donkey? At least one of them should walk while the other rides the donkey,” they grumbled. Well, this time, the man decided that he and his boy would walk alongside the donkey.

As they passed through the fourth city, the people there started to laugh at them. “What a foolish old man,” they ridiculed. “What is a donkey meant for? Isn’t it so that it could be ridden? Imagine having a donkey and still trekking.”

According to the tale, those who saw the couple in the next city said they were now carrying the donkey on their heads!

Such is the fate of those who waste their lives trying to please everybody. They are fools.

Here are some practical ways to deal with criticisms:

#1. Understand that not everyone has the necessary qualifications to speak into your life and destiny.

So don’t give everybody equal access to your ears.

Here’s my list of the kind of people whose criticisms you should respect – but always take it with a pinch of salt:

• Individuals that have demonstrated genuine concern for your well being and success over time. They rejoice when you succeed and weep when you fail. They consistently make investments of time, effort, and resources into your well being and success. I call them stake-holders in your destiny. You can at least give them some attention.
• Highly accomplished persons. I have observed that greatness enjoys greatness. It takes greatness to recognize greatness. I’ve observed that this group of people usually salt their criticisms with hope, praise, and encouragements; they criticize you out of their own experiences and genuine concern to see you succeed. Their criticisms inspire, rather than discourage you.
• Experts. In every field of endeavor, there are those who’ve become experts by virtue of their knowledge, skill, training, exposure, and experiences. They know a lot about your condition, that they are in a position to point out flaws. However, remember to weigh all opinions and criticisms in the light of your own personal self-awareness and judgment. I don’t care how good or experienced anyone is, you must reserve your right to dismiss their so-called expert opinions. Expertise has often been a mask for arrogant ignorance.

#2. Focus on your strengths

We all have weaknesses, but I encourage you to discover the things that you are good at, the things that work for you.

Criticisms tend to shift our awareness from our strengths to our weaknesses. If you are not careful, this awareness shift could trigger off a downward spiral in your life.

So, rather than dwelling on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. Then major on them; build upon them and try to be better at them. I’ve discovered that the more you try to excel in those things that you are already good at, the more your weaknesses diminish in strength and stature.

#3. Keep your mind on your goals

Focus on manifesting better results and creating more success.

Your critics simply want to derail you and bring you to their own level. If you don’t allow them to derail you, you’ll come out on top. Read the comments of a radical who was well acquainted with criticisms and knew how to deal with them.

“And I will keep on doing what I am doing to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about.” ~ St. Paul, II Corinthians 11:12

If you are great, your personality will often intimidate others. Your confidence may come across to them as ‘cockiness’ or ‘arrogance.’ Well, stop making apologies for who you are! If you are great, then you are and there’s really nothing anybody can do about it. If you are smart and intelligent, that’s God’s gift to you and you do not owe anyone any apologies. If they can’t live with your guts, then let that be their problem.

Your answer to your critics should be more and better results, if you care to. Otherwise, just ignore them. By the way, people who are bent on pointing out and exaggerating your flaws run the risk of becoming vulnerable to your influence unknowingly.

#4. Commit unfair and slanderous criticisms to God.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:6

It simply means that you should let God handle some fights for you. He sure knows how to deal with your enemies while you just keep busy and watch.

Let God fight for you.

#5. Admit your imperfections

Because you’ve not yet attained perfection there’s no need feeling bad when someone points out some flaws in you. Actually, if you are your own critic, you would have discovered those flaws ahead of time… and you shouldn’t feel bad when others point them out.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see our flaws because of familiarity blindness, self love, or plain ego. I assure you that if you are secure within your own self, criticisms can actually serve as a mirror with which you straighten out yourself if and when necessary.

#6. Don’t try to please everybody

First of all, you can’t.
Secondly, that’s a recipe for certain failure and frustration.
Thirdly, you’ll go crazy.

So, don’t even think of it!

Because greatness attracts criticisms, learn to have fun with them; either ignore them or use them if they are relevant. Don’t try to respond to every criticism. Take the high road and let your results speak for themselves. And even if you don’t have any results, it’s nobody’s business – its your life, enjoy it.

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